Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
