Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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