dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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