the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
