just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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