all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
