i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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