his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
