Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
