So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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