Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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