She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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