brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
