I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
