The brown eye won't let me do that either.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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