You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
