I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
