If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
