i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize