A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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