haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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