Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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