Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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