i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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