I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
