I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Randomize
