He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
YAS. BRING CRAB.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
