You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
