i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
