apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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