A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
