Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
home. puking in laundry basket.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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