my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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