Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
