I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
