she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
