I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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