I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
