My brain says no but my pants say off.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
