i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
