are you so shy because you have an std?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
