he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
