Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
