Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
