If i come over, it means nothing
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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