Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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