K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
