Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
