Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize