dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
