Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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