Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
