belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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