I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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