i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
