you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
