We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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