I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
