roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize