dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
