I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
