I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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