I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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