i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
